Ra' Sean Blyden (born 1978?, age 40?), also known as Professor Dan, Donester, Reh Dogg and D.J. Skeptikal, is a retired songwriter/videographer and conservative commentator/online activist from St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands.

He was best known as a producer of homemade music videos, a series of diary-format videos entitled "Random Thoughts", and "Political Bomb Show", a series of one-man comedy pieces widely considered by social anthropologists and critics to be a subtle satire of conservative online media's emotional and psychological excesses, since rebooted as a semi-regular hate speech podcast on the Anchor app.

The most successful of his music videos is the promo for Why Must I Cry, clocking in over seven million views since its release in 2006, a success that he has struggled to replicate since despite several attempts. The video garnered wide attention online for Blyden's gratuitous nudity, unusual vocalisations and the specificity of the subjects addressed in the song's lyrics, provided entirely without context or metaphor.

Career Edit

Beginning his career on the island of St. Thomas, as a rookie reggae vocalist supporting more established artists under the name 'Professor Dan', Blyden found little to no acclaim for his repetitive, one-dimensional dribblings, abandoning live performance shortly afterward, and upon arriving in the mainland U.S. in the late 1990s, found even less of an audience under the name 'Donester'. A sole single under the name, It's a Known Fact, exists on YouTube, and amusingly, features the most obvious attempt at drowning out terrible lyrics by a producer in modern history, by slapping a guitar over the entire song and putting the track in question up to 10.

Running out of ideas, in 1999, Blyden quickly appended the word 'Dogg' onto his first name, and went about indulging further his monumental self-obsession in a medium that fully encourages such horseshit: experimenting with hip-hop and revisiting his roots as a dribbling, one-dimensional dancehall jock.

The overnight spread of the video for Why Must I Cry, depicting Blyden taking a shower, reminiscing over lost loves & family, and taking the slowest, least get-yourself-shot rolling gun-load sequence in film history, was one of the earliest examples of viral culture, with Reh Dogg becoming something of an old meme in African-American internet lore in the years since.

He has since regularly released videos along similar lines - self-made, self-costumed, and self-absorbed, these promo clips garnered renown for their cut-and-paste nature, and limited range of scenery. These have expanded into animation (including a pilot for an animated series, made with iClone) and montage (with footage submitted by fans and freelancers on the Fiverr service).

In recent years, Blyden, in addition to revisiting his hip-hop formula on an annual basis with sporadic bursts of video activity, experimented with savant interpretations of dubstep/EDM and calypso, under the name 'D.J. Skeptikal', often also crediting himself as 'Reh Dogg' as a featured artist where his vocals were called for, double-crediting himself.

Blyden first began hinting at retirement from music in 2012, as sales of his music hit bottom. He set up a label and began collaborating with online applicants to his one-stop production shop throughout the mid-2010s. Hopping on the crowdfunding bandwagon, Blyden began a Patreon account in 2016, anticipating a supposed upturn in American economic fortunes after the "election" of Donald Trump as U.S. President. Despite recording a thank-you video for subscribers, Blyden received no subscribers.

In July of 2018, Blyden announced his second retirement from creating music after 27 years, citing his desire to focus on reading fake news headlines to himself as a creative outlet. He then immediately followed this announcement up with new music and a new video on his YouTube channel. By February of 2019, Blyden had unretired once more, to announce third comeback album 'Power in Jesus II'.

In October of 2019, Blyden formally reneged on his retirement with the release of several singles and a mixtape, followed by new EP Rescue Dog, which, true to form, was uploaded incorrectly to many of the streaming services, with instrumentals in place of vocal tracks.

Criticisms Edit

Over the years, Blyden, via his work as Reh Dogg and D.J. Skeptikal, has shown the following tendencies:

  • Animal murder and torture (lizards and small rodents, Think Like a Killer)
  • Fascism (support of far-right sympathiser Donald Trump, support for Israeli occupation)
  • Racism (aggression towards Latinos and light-skinned Black people, exotification of Asian women)
  • Homophobia (constant references, especially in early work)
  • Transphobia (Blyden's new obsession in recent years, in songs like Dugoo Dugoo Transgender)
  • Misogyny (The Never Hillary Concert, an entire live stream dedicated to defaming Hillary Clinton)
  • Sexual harassment (Gyaldem Wuk Up and others, toxic masculinity and entitlement)
  • Religious discrimination (God the Creator, wherein non-Christian religions are referred to as "danger")
  • Plagiarism (accusations by musicians on his Facebook page of stealing their work)

The above, combined with his membership of the Republican party, have resulted in accusations on Twitter of being an "Uncle Tom".

He has responded to these allegations by whinging and crying on his little podcast about the open-source nature of this site.

Themes and Motifs Edit

Blyden claims to rap about everyday issues that affect the common man, but a complete dearth of any of this is entirely evident in all of his work, choosing as he does simply to rap about his own problems, past and beliefs, to the point that others cannot relate, because his anger is deep and burns and you just don't understand.

Want everyone a-na listen to me-a, R-E-H-D-O-DOUBLE-G-A. - Every Reh Dogg song

Many of his verses centre on his inability to understand his lot in life, blatantly unaware that you probably get what you deserve when you post an insanely defamatory video about a woman, point a gun at your own head, get butt-ass naked in the shower, and generally arse around the place in an increasingly dire selection of costumes. Then there's the 3D segments that bear no relevance to anything, unless you are actually a render from World of Warcraft, or Blyden's idea of what a demon looks like. It represents his anger, y'see.

3-2=F.U. - Every Reh Dogg song, displaying a heroic ineptitude with numbers

Commentary and Politics Edit

The response to his music videos inflated his ego to the point where he felt comfortable airing his dirty laundry in talking segments like "Reh Dogg's Random Thoughts". These routinely involve Blyden standing in front of a green-screen, talking to himself for anywhere from five minutes to an hour about what he had for dinner or the latest librul book-lurnin' scumbag that dook his jerb. The Internet, and indeed, humanity, has benefited immensely from his research.

Because of his status as a Republican, and thusly waving around the Constitution his party destroyed aeons ago to feel like A BIG MAN, Reh Dogg ignores the First Amendment at will by either ignoring or outright censoring online criticism.

"YEEEAH, GOT KNOWLEDGE FOR Y'ALL" - Reh Dogg's Random Thoughts theme.
Reh Dogg's Random Thoughts Segment 112- Reh Dogg interviews Rasean

Reh Dogg's Random Thoughts Segment 112- Reh Dogg interviews Rasean

This knowledge is often hinted at but never actually dispersed, as Blyden usually egocentrically talks about himself or pathetically drunk-vlogs like a teenager.

Blyden is a registered Republican voter, referring to himself as a "conservative-minded" rapper, often equating a desire for society to regress and remain inequal, with strength, leadership and sturdy moral constitution.

Over the years, Blyden has fully succombed to the effects of exposure to conservative talk radio, and often discusses his listening schedule on his shows. Over the years extolling the benefits of charlatans like Glenn Beck, Michael Savage and Alex Jones, Blyden has routinely plagiarised their routines in his own video and social media commentary. An ardent opponent of Barack Obama that somehow never did manage to explain in coherent terms his opposition to the first Black President, Blyden is a supporter of non-President Donald Trump. Inexplicably, Blyden has lined up behind a known racist, and continues to support the Cheeto-in-Chief, as well as 'reaching out' to white-power group The Proud Boys.

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